Bear Grylls is the host of Man Vs Wild on the discovery channel. On the show he is dropped into remote locations with little more then the clothes on his back and must survive until he can find civilization.
Dear Mr Grylls,
First off I would like to state for the record ...You are a badass. Remember when you ate that living snake? That was cool. Or when you killed that rabbit by throwing a stick at it? Lets just say ....It turned me on. I hope one day that I can meet you and when I do a big rattlesnake comes along and bites me on the boob. Then you could suck the poison out. Hopefully Ill live long enough to share a dinner with you of the very same rattlesnake which you tracked and killed after saving me. That being said and despite your obvious survival knowledge and sexy abs I do have a few questions for you...
1. I know you are married but are you happily married?... I mean I'm sure shes a lovely woman ... but seriously are you? cause I could rough it for you. I could go camping and climb stuff... as long as there are no bugs. I really don't like bugs.
2. On Man v Wild you always talk about keeping your moral up. Look I get it. Its either really cold or really hot and you have to literally drink elephant shit and eat old animal carcasses but really, how can your moral be that low when you have a camera crew around you? I'm just saying... Its probably not as low as It would be if you didn't have that medevac helicopter on speed dial in your cell.
3. Why did you name your son Marmaduke? Honestly man ... that was pretty dick of you. I bet that bitch wife of yours talked you into it. On the other hand your parents did name you Bear.
4. When you catch protected animals (like the rattlesnake) and must let them go do you actually just wait till the cameras are off and then eat them or does the crew just give you a power bar?
Anyway just letting you know how awesome you are. I appreciate your skillz. You look good in those British flag boxers. Really good
I love you,
The Citizen
