Supermodel Citizen

RUN SURI RUN!!!!

2007-08-01T20:54:00.001-04:00

this kid is smart. and terrified.

Who is this portly feller?

2007-08-01T20:32:00.000-04:00

what the hell happened to val kilmer??? homegirl is laaaarge. seriously if somebody introduced me to this chubster and told me he was Iceman from topgun i would laugh ... then smack them in the face. he looks like the fat kid sitting alone at the lunch table staring at the hot girl who wont talk to him. that or a serial killer. if hollywood made a top gun 2 his new call sign would be doughboy or possibly krispy kreme....

jesus val ...i hope that's a light beer.

White Trash Wednesday

2007-07-11T18:24:00.000-04:00

Their NEW Image

2007-07-10T13:49:00.000-04:00

meet the new spice girls... Robospice, Undead spice, Old spice, Fat spice and Who my baby daddy? spice.

An Open Letter to Bear Grylls

2007-06-21T17:01:00.000-04:00

Bear Grylls is the host of Man Vs Wild on the discovery channel. On the show he is dropped into remote locations with little more then the clothes on his back and must survive until he can find civilization.

Dear Mr Grylls,

First off I would like to state for the record ...You are a badass. Remember when you ate that living snake? That was cool. Or when you killed that rabbit by throwing a stick at it? Lets just say ....It turned me on. I hope one day that I can meet you and when I do a big rattlesnake comes along and bites me on the boob. Then you could suck the poison out. Hopefully Ill live long enough to share a dinner with you of the very same rattlesnake which you tracked and killed after saving me. That being said and despite your obvious survival knowledge and sexy abs I do have a few questions for you...

1. I know you are married but are you happily married?... I mean I'm sure shes a lovely woman ... but seriously are you? cause I could rough it for you. I could go camping and climb stuff... as long as there are no bugs. I really don't like bugs.

2. On Man v Wild you always talk about keeping your moral up. Look I get it. Its either really cold or really hot and you have to literally drink elephant shit and eat old animal carcasses but really, how can your moral be that low when you have a camera crew around you? I'm just saying... Its probably not as low as It would be if you didn't have that medevac helicopter on speed dial in your cell.

3. Why did you name your son Marmaduke? Honestly man ... that was pretty dick of you. I bet that bitch wife of yours talked you into it. On the other hand your parents did name you Bear.

4. When you catch protected animals (like the rattlesnake) and must let them go do you actually just wait till the cameras are off and then eat them or does the crew just give you a power bar?

Anyway just letting you know how awesome you are. I appreciate your skillz. You look good in those British flag boxers. Really good

I love you,

The Citizen

Shaun White: Certified Hottie

2007-06-08T22:23:00.000-04:00

there is something about this kid that makes a girl .... weak in the knees...

hes cool

nuff said

this dorky looking skinny pimply face ginger kid is damn sexy!

i'd hit it

rational thought

2006-12-17T17:15:00.000-05:00

i'm on the phone with my grandmother the otherday and she starts talking about john edwards... not the politician... the psychic... she loves supernatural stuff... so she says that she "doesnt believe that he can commune with the dead."
"ok grandma... well how do you think he knows all that stuff? do you think its just editing or something?"

so she says (this is the best)

"I don't know, maybe he can read minds"

ooookay so grandma doesn't believe that edwards can talk to the dead but she does believe he can read minds...

go figure

model call...

2006-12-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

Archangel Michaels MODEL Search....

if you are FEMALE and would like to model for him CALL HIM!

also available : body guard service. the archangel space force. the cosmic reserve bank. michaels custom shop. the comedy room. and the the heavenly art agency...

michael the archangel

jokes n' stuff

2006-12-15T20:46:00.001-05:00

This guy is one BADASS mother f*cker... with a very healthy sense of humor... check out "jokes n' stuff"

Enter and BEWARE

disturBING

2006-12-07T17:03:00.000-05:00

this family is awful... check out jason's page where he tells the story of his own birth and there is even a picture of his placenta... what?

welcome to bing world

the style section

2006-12-06T18:03:00.000-05:00

i think i know what i'm getting grandpa for christmas...

fo' rizzle

pimp cups

nerd alert!

2006-12-04T15:15:00.000-05:00

somebody deserves a swirly...
wii fan

overheard #2

2006-11-28T11:31:00.000-05:00

a group of nerds behind me on the train:

"200 points of magic? That would truly be a day of sorcery!"

look buddy, no matter how many magical points you get ... you will never be able to conjure yourself a girlfriend.

well met

2006-11-27T11:24:00.000-05:00

saturday after a night of partying at sway for a friends birthday, i decided to head the the metropolitan museum of art. or heaven as i like to call it. surprisingly enough, the most magical place in new york wasn't as insanely crowded as i though it would be thanksgiving weekend. i spent most of my time saturday in the european paintings and the american wing. surat, goya, vermeer, valazquez, rembrandt, sargent, courbet.. and on and on. beautiful and overwhelming, the met is a truly singular place. there is so much to see that it sometimes makes me a bit anxious. i want to see it all. so i usually start at one of my favorite paintings, joan of arc by jules bastian-lepage. she is beautiful and i love her. my heart flutters as i walk past the rodin's and approach... eye on the prize. after paying homage i wander. flowing until something catches my eye.
the most miraculous moments for me are when you turn a corner or walk down the stairs and for a second there are no people and only silence. you are alone with all these great and ancient works. it is truly spectacular. almost spiritual.

all kinds of insane

2006-11-27T10:09:00.000-05:00

a couple of months ago while in chicago visiting my ex alex, i came across the craziest person i've ever seen.
it began as a nice little sunday at the lincoln park zoo. alex and are turning the corner in front of the mountain lions when a voice hits our ear.
"what did i tell you? WHAT DID I SAY?! always stand by the bathroom doors! what if someone were to walk in?" the woman's voice was both husky and piercing at once. like someone had shoved a handful of dirt down her throat. i looked around for the source. when my eyes beheld her i immediately thought of miss havisham, the insane spinster of great expectations. the woman (in her 60s) was yelling at the younger man pushing her wheelchair she was wearing a girlish pale pink dress complete with lace ruffles and bows. strange ...but not the strangest. her sneering face was covered in thick white geisha-like makeup complete with the red lips and penciled eyebrows. on her head a black wig was held in place by a pink flowered japanese hair ornament. she however was not japanese. alex and i shot glances at each other. what the..? she continued on her way yelling at her... manservant (?) i begged alex to take a picture of her with his camera phone but to no avail. when we got home later i scoured the internet looking for any other sightings of this fascinating creature but if anyone else had seen her they did not write about her. who is she? what is her story? she obviously is mentally disturbed but why the geisha gear? even now i picture her in her house.. dimmed lights, scarves, screens and dust. mildew everywhere. perhaps even (like havisham) a decaying feast at her table and clocks all stopped at 20 minutes to 9. there's crazy and there is CRAZY... and this woman was CRAZY.

model citizen award: gabriella horn

2006-11-20T12:40:00.000-05:00

so i read this article in the ny post yesterday (yes the post is crap but i justlove page 6). and it made me laugh out loud. it was about three guys in washington square park who threw a thousand dollars worth of cash to crowds of people and the chaos that ensued...
the best part of the article were the quotes from the witnesses:

"i had to fight for my free money," said caraballo. "but I got it in the end."

and this one was great...

"i think i may have stepped on a kid," said gabriella horn, 26, a student at parsons, "and a poor one at that."
look... i realise you're a student and therefore broke so i cant blame you for stepping on impoverished children for a few measly bucks. hell i'd do it for free... but next time don't tell the post about it and if you must don't give out your name.

ironic that the reasoning behind this jackass stunt was that they wanted people to "have a little more common courtesy towards their fellow human beings,"

the Model Citizen Award goes to: Gabriella Horn... keep your eye on the prize and never give up the fight no matter how many poor kids you step on along the way. in the words of fellow parsons-ite tim gunn... "carry on!"

bucks drop here

overheard #1

2006-11-19T19:45:00.000-05:00

a 250 lb woman in stretch pants to her boyfriend
" are these pants too tight. do they make me look fat?"

no not at all...